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I don't know how to express what I'm feeling right now.  WEI has… - Trowa Barton

About I don't know how to express what I'm feeling right now.  WEI has…

Previous Entry Mar. 24th, 2005 @ 02:07 pm Next Entry

I don't know how to express what I'm feeling right now.  WEI has been a large part of Quatre's life since well before we began our relationship, and in my more honest moments I can admit to being jealous of the time he's devoted to it, as ridiculous as that is. It always seemed to me that the more time Quatre spent trying to get WEI under control, the more it needed his attention. Every victory came with half a dozen setbacks, and each day seemed to leave him more depleted than the last.

And now - it's only been a couple of days, but he's already much more relaxed. He's sleeping better. His smile is brighter, more genuine. The dark circles under his eyes have begun to fade away. His posture isn't as stiff, and when I place my hand on the back of his neck, it's harder to find the knots of tension that have been there.

I'm getting my Quatre back.

A few years ago, long before Quatre bought the house, we split up. We'd been photographed together in a restaurant holding hands across the table, and the picture ended up in the newspapers. We'd been trying to keep our relationship discreet, so as to spare Quatre any unneccesary trouble at WEI. He was still fairly new to the position of CEO, and had enough opposition amongst the Board and the stockholders, simply because of his age. Naturally, the pictures made things even more difficult for him, and eventually I just...left. At the time, I told myself it was better for him for me to go, but in truth I was angry and ashamed of myself for being angry. How foolish it seemed to feel threatened by his job. When he asked me to come back, I told myself that I could share him this time; that having some of his time was much better than none at all - and it was better, to have some rather than none. Now that I'll be getting more of his time, I feel like I've won a battle or vanquished an enemy. It's crazy, but there it is.

We've talked a bit about what we're going to do with ourselves now, but we haven't made any decisions yet. There's no rush. Quatre will still be handling matters for WEI, of course, but the time he'll have to commit to it will be cut in half, if not moreso. For the first time in a long while, I think, he feels free. Consequently, so do I. There are lots of things we might do, but fewer that we have to do, and that alone is liberating.
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Date:March 25th, 2005 12:31 am (UTC)
*walks in and falls on him happily*

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY~! Like I told Quatre, Carribean cruise, man. With pirates. Lots of pirates. Arr~!

*blinks and thinks about what she just said*

Okay, cold is making me loopy. But YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY~~~ Mucho love!

*hug hug hug hug hug hug hug*
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Date:March 25th, 2005 01:08 am (UTC)
Take your time planning for the future. Now that he's not chained to his desk, you have more time for things you both enjoy doing, like maybe replanting your garden. Don't be afraid to start small, then work your way to something bigger, like traveling through the colonies and on to earth. Sure, you may not be able to do it all at once, but, pick a destination, spend some time there and pick somewhere else the next time. It's always good to go when it's not tourist season so you can get a feel for the place.
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Date:March 25th, 2005 04:25 am (UTC)
...ridiculous? o_O?

Check your email.
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Date:March 25th, 2005 08:13 am (UTC)
On the contrary -- reading about the feelings you had, I don't think what you felt was childish or foolish at all. You handled the situation very maturely, and you've pulled through this very trying time. You definitely deserve what's happening... you both do. ^_^
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Date:March 25th, 2005 08:13 am (UTC)
What are you two going to do with yourselves?

Does it always have to be something? Enjoy spending time with each other again, spend time with each other than in the morning and the evening? Either way, enjoy yourselves and try not to drive each crazy. ;)
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Date:March 25th, 2005 05:00 pm (UTC)
I'm very happy for both of you, and I'm sure you'll figure out something to do with your time. Have fun at that goergous house!
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Date:March 26th, 2005 12:55 am (UTC)
*Hugs* I'm really happy for both of you. I'm also insanely jealous, but ssh! I'll get over it.

Whatever you do, as long as it makes you happy, then that's what matters. I'll bet it's nice just to have time for the small things, like coffee in the garden, or going for a walk in the evening. I hope nothing comes along to demand your attention, at least for awhile.
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